Mattering sucks
Sep. 16th, 2014 05:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzJamie liked her note: I have to go soon (on the last day we'd see each other) and you're not here so I'm sitting in your chair writing you this note. You may not miss me, but I have cooties, so you won't forget me. José"
I couldn't sleep well - woke up, more like gave up lying still. Trying not to drink coffee right away, though I make it the night before and pour it in pyrex right away to avoid getting bitter in it's own funk. I will need the jolt more at work today, not that'll last past lunch.
Last night I freaked out before the meeting - I got 20, 30, 40? emails with people's wants and opinions for the property next to my house. I freaked out because it dawned on me that I had an important job. I had to represent the opinions of dozens of people on a serious issue. As I walked to the meeting, I ran into a neighbor and we spoke more - driving the lesson home she wished me luck and "We're all counting on you!" GordonRamsey ohfuckme...pressure? The meeting format added pressure - I sat in a group of seasoned political leaders - all of us there to present views in front of an audience of about 100. Oh, and we're at the table with the defacto next elected mayor.
ME. I AM NOT THIS IMPORTANT. I just want to drink beer, talk trash, and make out. I HATE PANTS and I'm sitting with suits.
Well except I am important, but only by default. I only make a difference because most people are so fucking lazy. The only people who show up to meetings are developers, crazies / single issue nutjobs, and political leaders. I have friends who voice disappointment in the political process, and I'm getting testier and testier as I see their lack of activity as the enemy. So, I am important for all the wrong reasons.
Each speaker made their points, and while there were different emphases - all speakers essentially had the same concerns:
1. Parking, particularly losing an entire parking lot by Raymond rec & the elementary school
2. Concern of low income vs. demonizing "the poor," (I did point out that the income is not always counting as if one person there is making the money - that a household income can be made up of 2-3 people). Not mentioned was the well documented fact that concentrated low income is highly associated with crime - Park Morton is our gangland shooting neighborhood that is a living example of that.
3. Unanimous desire for senior housing at any income level (though one speaker attributed that to parking concerns - I voiced I did not think those were concerns that were being shared with me)
4. SURPRISINGLY - multiple people talked about ownership models! I thought the rental-only project was the only viable option, and that me and my neighbors who wanted permanent residents of any income vs. rental drive-bys were so fringe that I risked my credibility talking about them; instead I was only one of 3 who brought the issue up, and more jumped on board.
5. Multiple people talked about DENSITY and the community make up of houses rather than apartment buildings - there was a lot of interest in rowhomes/townhouses. DC officials noted that those models complicated parking a great deal, but all the locals noted it's a community of rowhouses (and I really enjoyed a local leader who said to stick with the architecture of hte area, rather than making "another box with a halo on it" endemic to new construction - agreed, I hate "building wings")
6. Building diversity - I was the only one who voiced a concern over mixed incomes within buildings, but if I'm any reader of faces that point was well received. I pushed the issue as ensuring everyone lived in the same conditions and how mixed incomes would ensure a high standard of living for everyone - this was something I really believed in, but making the argument seemed to dispel the myth that my group / our neighbors were anti-poor. Some seemed embarrassed not to have made similar points.
7. More economic diversity was requested, as was the 80% AMI that had vanished.
Then there was a question and answer session, in which the funding of the project was really probed. The 20 mil pricetag was noted as very high from a budget of 100 mil total (someone suggested just increasing the funding - again oblivious to the complaints that seniors were priced out of housing due to tax increases perhaps). Soon-to-be-Mayor noted the proposed schedule was aggressive, and construction is easily (2 years?) away. It's also possible the entire process might have to start from scratch depending on how things turn out.
I was embarrassed for our affordable housing / occupy protester group. They quickly suggested that the city just double the 100 MILLION dollar annual budget for affordable housing. These same nitwits claim that they support long-term seniors in the area, and argue TAXES SHOULD BE LOWER. They claim owners are pressured out because of RISING TAXES, and then ask for 100 MILLION DOLLARS to just poof out of the air. It's so easy to ask for things, so hard to tie them to conflicting interests.
I got the impression from the DC government rep responses that the 20 million may not be realistic, and essentially they're shooting for a very high levels of affordable housing with low AMI. It seems all the pressures are making it more likely the property might be higher AMI overall as it's expensive to the city to provide so much lower AMI in concentrations. The less density they get, and the less subsidies they get, the higher the incomes of the residents will have to be.
I'm stunned at how good Bowser is in her political role. She is amazing and keeping a group focused and directed without making people feel slighted - she moves their rambling forward, and somehow keeps the racists happy while in check, at the same time blowing holes through developers and government obfuscation with knowledge and grace. I don't agree with all her positions, but her skill is inarguable.
Sorry, that's stuff I'm wrapped up in. I didn't bomb. I do have to force myself to do political things; instead of packing my shit and running for the door at 9pm I thank everyone at the table, walk around to talk to everyone I know - partly because I want to, partly because it shows the powerful in the room that I'm also connected and speaking for a diverse local group of people too. I find a land between how I am comfortable acting and how it shapes my ability to influence this process.
I parted ways and walked to my house. My empty, dusty, dirty, electric-water-gas free home. I walked inside with my little flashlight and closed the door. I turned off the flashlight and stood there. I could see the front and back windows; in the dark I could see from all the streetlights around me. It was quiet but I could hear the bustle of various neighbors, traffic, tvs. I looked around my house - walking mentally upstairs and downstairs. I know this house, I know where the rooms are, where things will go (perhaps not so much light switches).
It felt a little ghosty. Standing in the dark I got that hair rising on my neck feeling. I'm staying, not fighting nor giving into those silly feelings, bonding with things I don't believe in, making friends with the space.
I couldn't sleep well - woke up, more like gave up lying still. Trying not to drink coffee right away, though I make it the night before and pour it in pyrex right away to avoid getting bitter in it's own funk. I will need the jolt more at work today, not that'll last past lunch.
Last night I freaked out before the meeting - I got 20, 30, 40? emails with people's wants and opinions for the property next to my house. I freaked out because it dawned on me that I had an important job. I had to represent the opinions of dozens of people on a serious issue. As I walked to the meeting, I ran into a neighbor and we spoke more - driving the lesson home she wished me luck and "We're all counting on you!" GordonRamsey ohfuckme...pressure? The meeting format added pressure - I sat in a group of seasoned political leaders - all of us there to present views in front of an audience of about 100. Oh, and we're at the table with the defacto next elected mayor.
ME. I AM NOT THIS IMPORTANT. I just want to drink beer, talk trash, and make out. I HATE PANTS and I'm sitting with suits.
Well except I am important, but only by default. I only make a difference because most people are so fucking lazy. The only people who show up to meetings are developers, crazies / single issue nutjobs, and political leaders. I have friends who voice disappointment in the political process, and I'm getting testier and testier as I see their lack of activity as the enemy. So, I am important for all the wrong reasons.
Each speaker made their points, and while there were different emphases - all speakers essentially had the same concerns:
1. Parking, particularly losing an entire parking lot by Raymond rec & the elementary school
2. Concern of low income vs. demonizing "the poor," (I did point out that the income is not always counting as if one person there is making the money - that a household income can be made up of 2-3 people). Not mentioned was the well documented fact that concentrated low income is highly associated with crime - Park Morton is our gangland shooting neighborhood that is a living example of that.
3. Unanimous desire for senior housing at any income level (though one speaker attributed that to parking concerns - I voiced I did not think those were concerns that were being shared with me)
4. SURPRISINGLY - multiple people talked about ownership models! I thought the rental-only project was the only viable option, and that me and my neighbors who wanted permanent residents of any income vs. rental drive-bys were so fringe that I risked my credibility talking about them; instead I was only one of 3 who brought the issue up, and more jumped on board.
5. Multiple people talked about DENSITY and the community make up of houses rather than apartment buildings - there was a lot of interest in rowhomes/townhouses. DC officials noted that those models complicated parking a great deal, but all the locals noted it's a community of rowhouses (and I really enjoyed a local leader who said to stick with the architecture of hte area, rather than making "another box with a halo on it" endemic to new construction - agreed, I hate "building wings")
6. Building diversity - I was the only one who voiced a concern over mixed incomes within buildings, but if I'm any reader of faces that point was well received. I pushed the issue as ensuring everyone lived in the same conditions and how mixed incomes would ensure a high standard of living for everyone - this was something I really believed in, but making the argument seemed to dispel the myth that my group / our neighbors were anti-poor. Some seemed embarrassed not to have made similar points.
7. More economic diversity was requested, as was the 80% AMI that had vanished.
Then there was a question and answer session, in which the funding of the project was really probed. The 20 mil pricetag was noted as very high from a budget of 100 mil total (someone suggested just increasing the funding - again oblivious to the complaints that seniors were priced out of housing due to tax increases perhaps). Soon-to-be-Mayor noted the proposed schedule was aggressive, and construction is easily (2 years?) away. It's also possible the entire process might have to start from scratch depending on how things turn out.
I was embarrassed for our affordable housing / occupy protester group. They quickly suggested that the city just double the 100 MILLION dollar annual budget for affordable housing. These same nitwits claim that they support long-term seniors in the area, and argue TAXES SHOULD BE LOWER. They claim owners are pressured out because of RISING TAXES, and then ask for 100 MILLION DOLLARS to just poof out of the air. It's so easy to ask for things, so hard to tie them to conflicting interests.
I got the impression from the DC government rep responses that the 20 million may not be realistic, and essentially they're shooting for a very high levels of affordable housing with low AMI. It seems all the pressures are making it more likely the property might be higher AMI overall as it's expensive to the city to provide so much lower AMI in concentrations. The less density they get, and the less subsidies they get, the higher the incomes of the residents will have to be.
I'm stunned at how good Bowser is in her political role. She is amazing and keeping a group focused and directed without making people feel slighted - she moves their rambling forward, and somehow keeps the racists happy while in check, at the same time blowing holes through developers and government obfuscation with knowledge and grace. I don't agree with all her positions, but her skill is inarguable.
Sorry, that's stuff I'm wrapped up in. I didn't bomb. I do have to force myself to do political things; instead of packing my shit and running for the door at 9pm I thank everyone at the table, walk around to talk to everyone I know - partly because I want to, partly because it shows the powerful in the room that I'm also connected and speaking for a diverse local group of people too. I find a land between how I am comfortable acting and how it shapes my ability to influence this process.
I parted ways and walked to my house. My empty, dusty, dirty, electric-water-gas free home. I walked inside with my little flashlight and closed the door. I turned off the flashlight and stood there. I could see the front and back windows; in the dark I could see from all the streetlights around me. It was quiet but I could hear the bustle of various neighbors, traffic, tvs. I looked around my house - walking mentally upstairs and downstairs. I know this house, I know where the rooms are, where things will go (perhaps not so much light switches).
It felt a little ghosty. Standing in the dark I got that hair rising on my neck feeling. I'm staying, not fighting nor giving into those silly feelings, bonding with things I don't believe in, making friends with the space.
