Perhaps it is a subtle point that I just can't get through my thick skull but I don't see the difference between the whining these people do to you and the whining you are doing to us. Are you revving up to the action of confronting them directly or cutting them out of your life? Or are you just blowing off steam exactly the way you think other people shouldn't?

Sometimes the whining is the thing that allows people to cope with the situation. They *have* learned to live with it.