it's talking about the idea that you've given up and started trying really hard to meet someone instead of just letting it happen.
What's wrong with trying? I don't mean "trying" like buying a vroom-vroom car and wearing inappropriately young clothing; I mean getting out there and making an effort. "Just letting it happen" works better at different times in one's life, but that old magic where our-eyes-lock-and-we-both-forget-what-we-were-going-to-say-and-we-crush-each-other-to-our-heaving-chests ain't gonna happen every time. Have a viable Plan B or C, I say. Just because you didn't trip and fall into a relationship doesn't make it less valid, magical, or special. Or difficult, for that matter.
Online dating specifically: I have some limited experience with it (eons ago). My feeling is that the anonymity of being online is attractive to all kinds of people, some simply because they're shy (like me) and others for less innocent reasons. It can certainly bring out the worst in people because there are no consequences if they act like a tool; they just move on to the next not-real person they're pretending to get to know.
But then there are plenty of very nice people who've met other very nice people online. You hear more tool stories, as much because people like hearing them a bit more than "happily ever after--so far" stories.
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What's wrong with trying? I don't mean "trying" like buying a vroom-vroom car and wearing inappropriately young clothing; I mean getting out there and making an effort. "Just letting it happen" works better at different times in one's life, but that old magic where our-eyes-lock-and-we-both-forget-what-we-were-going-to-say-and-we-crush-each-other-to-our-heaving-chests ain't gonna happen every time. Have a viable Plan B or C, I say. Just because you didn't trip and fall into a relationship doesn't make it less valid, magical, or special. Or difficult, for that matter.
Online dating specifically: I have some limited experience with it (eons ago). My feeling is that the anonymity of being online is attractive to all kinds of people, some simply because they're shy (like me) and others for less innocent reasons. It can certainly bring out the worst in people because there are no consequences if they act like a tool; they just move on to the next not-real person they're pretending to get to know.
But then there are plenty of very nice people who've met other very nice people online. You hear more tool stories, as much because people like hearing them a bit more than "happily ever after--so far" stories.
YMMV, of course.