"The problem is that you can get a lot of affirmation long before cheating, but the more affirmation you get the more you want."

My husband and I have battled with this same issue for just about our entire marriage. I won't pretend that I have advice, because I don't. I crave attention and affection as much as the next person and sometimes it is mighty nice to get it from unexpected places.

I know that before we got married we made a promise to each other to never give up, no matter what. Divorce isn't an option because we ruled it out before we ever got married. That being said, I wouldn't say we have an "open relationship" per se because I don't think either of us actively seeks out other partners for flirtations ect. but, we are past the point of being surprised that one of us might have a need for some affirmation from someone else every now and then.

I think the more honest you are with your partner and the easier everything is. When you catch yourself hiding things and not communicating than I think it's gone beyond a healthy need and into more dangerous waters, because at that point are you doing it for affirmation or for the thrill of doing something you know you shouldn't be doing?