just saying that there is something else going on in your head. Typical trigger words for you are "alone", "pain", "grow" --but-- frequently you talk about things as they are involved in some form of progress or forward motion, from which I would infer ambition. Your tales of developing your work outs from old dips and such, seem to suggest that you ddin't know what you wanted to do--had no specific goal--when you started, but as you gain the reassurance of progress, you think about what you want to achieve.

My guess is that there i something you want to do, but aren't quite sure about it yet, or can't completely articulate it, so you sort-of flail for a sounding board at times...but also distrust actually receiving a useful response if you open up a dialog. Never mind...just rambling from a rapidly melting Michigan.