When my mom and I were taking care of her estate planning, her attorney gave her a copy of Five Wishes to fill out (click on the link on the right-hand side to view a PDF of the form). Basically a living will, it's written in a very simple, specific fashion that isn't as intimidating to most people as legalese. It's also considered "valid" in 40 states, including VA, but I'm not sure what "validity" entails. :)

Of course, I'm sure that if/when I need to make any big decisions for her, even with the knowledge I have of her beliefs and desires, I'll second-guess myself the whole time. Sigh.