vicarz | (no subject)

I don't hate turning to her
It's not a thought, a reflex,
Only now I question it, I heard a friend I called a fool
and wonder now what wisdom she found,
if any

I know her burn
she makes my breathing heavy
I close my eyes - I feel
I feel more powerful as I succumb, relish the illusion

Where is it - that burning?
Her accessories make her seem sweet
My throat, my breath carries her scent.
I should have turned away, listened to my body when my brain failed me
but instead I took her inside, again and again

I feel pain already, prefer to turn to her now
but her pain will return and share me tomorrow if I do
Parts of me knew better, but I fought myself to take her in
now she knows her way well

Others rejected you and I've never pretended I'm the first
Your mother rejected you out of hand, and it was your hand that stilled her breath
It seems foolish to reject you for your origin or nature now - I had a hand in that death
and now you are in my hand and I yours

Since she left me you're the one I turn to
not that you're mine any more than anyone else's
or I yours
I'm not sure I want to see you - I'm not sure I want to see anyone else
Just you and me, alone in the dark

We're on different busses, petrol
but we're both using pollution