For a brief moment I saw why a girl would be uncomfortable with gay mannerisms from a guy they had a romantic interest in.
Maybe, at first glance, because she'd wonder about his orientation. But I really think that it doesn't matter so much once an interest has been established. I've dated men more feminine than me, or smaller than me, and I could have easily developed a complex about it, but I have so many already.
I did date someone from (cough) India, and apparently there's some sort of standard dance there which involves shoulder-shrugging? During the dance-night he was a trifle drunk and he kept touching/hugging his male friend who promptly said, "stop acting gay! Stop!" I found that downright annoying. I actually found the shoulder-shrugging / giggling / gestures-of-affection endearing. I thought, hey! This guy might be SENSUAL! ROCK!
I agree that people should be more aware of what's 'performative' in gender--and that it is, as you say, a construct, & essentially is mimetic of something that doesn't even exist. Of course I'm paraphrasing some queer theorist. I could look her up if you'd like.
Non-sequitur.
Maybe, at first glance, because she'd wonder about his orientation. But I really think that it doesn't matter so much once an interest has been established. I've dated men more feminine than me, or smaller than me, and I could have easily developed a complex about it, but I have so many already.
I did date someone from (cough) India, and apparently there's some sort of standard dance there which involves shoulder-shrugging? During the dance-night he was a trifle drunk and he kept touching/hugging his male friend who promptly said, "stop acting gay! Stop!" I found that downright annoying. I actually found the shoulder-shrugging / giggling / gestures-of-affection endearing. I thought, hey! This guy might be SENSUAL! ROCK!
I agree that people should be more aware of what's 'performative' in gender--and that it is, as you say, a construct, & essentially is mimetic of something that doesn't even exist. Of course I'm paraphrasing some queer theorist. I could look her up if you'd like.