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Feb. 24th, 2009 07:22 amDiesel sweeties for the win!
http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive/2222
Wow. I've been mentally composing a post about how grateful I am for:
* The fact that while I stumbled through my education with no real direction, I did put energy into it misdirected or poorly directed or no - and that education has served me tirelessly to this day.
* Same thing with career - better to pursue *something* than to sit and wait for a specific thing. I have felt pathetic as my peers seem to have specific goals and dreams, while I only want to pay the bills and sluff off for fun. Still, I've done work and kinda-sorta pursued career, and those efforts have paid dividends. If I had a super-dooper goal perhaps I'd be higher, but I'm quite happy with the results of my half-assed efforts as compounded over time.
* The fact that I stuck with government for security while I watched others pursue and receive far more success in the private sector.
* The priority I put on happiness and me-time over financial success in isolation.
I'm torn on the subject of "success." By some measures I've achieved some success, but I don't feel proud as my identity is invested more in other places (I talk far more about how much I bench, deadlift, or squat than my grade, education, or financial standing). I know part of that is simply a product of two things: education and job success don't change often, and it's rude in some situations to talk about career and money. Still, I care far more about if I'm liked, if I'm seen as nice, if I'm seen as pretty, how I dance, and fluffy stuff above and beyond the stuff that looks good on paper.
Because I'm pretty? Because you're pretty.
However, as the destroyed economy is in the news daily, I've really become very grateful both to fate and to my own perseverance for the rewards I'm knee-deep in now. I have a job while unemployment skyrockets, and it's not a crappy low-paying job I hate but need to pay the bills. I have a home that is worth more than the balance on the mortgage, which is on a low fixed-interest rate. I have retirement accounts of reasonable size for my age. I have most of my health and insurance in case some day I don't.
Odd note - I have a boo and I'm grateful too. While you can't say googly-eyes are necessarily a product of work, if I had been whoring about, or if I had stayed in seclusion lamenting the state of the world as it related to my romantic life - I would probably not have met, recognized the value of, or been recognized as "valuable" by Janna. So while I call it some more important nontangible type of "success," and it's odd to say romance is a product of work, well...it is. Same types of issues, investing energy, not jumping at shadows, not jumping quick fixes that do long-term damage...yields a higher quality sustainable result. Of course a relationship requires work too and it won't always be fun and roses - the process continues.
So I've been mentally composing a kind of thanksgiving post in my mind - I hear every day how the world is falling apart, and I'm so happy that I'm not a laid-off high-priced douche crying because my 100k car is hard to pay for and my home is killing me; or I'm stuck in a miserable job to pay for my perceived "needs." I'm happy I'm not a blue-collar worker in Detroit, happier I'm not a small town apt dweller working 2 fast food jobs or cleaning hotel rooms. I'm happy for the comfort I have; happy that while I just replaced a heat pump I had the money to do it without fear or financing; happy I forget to check the price of dinner, bar tabs, groceries, and other items because it's not a question of whether or not I can afford these things.
That was my post, but I just got my TSP retirement account statement in the mail and while I had checked a short time ago to find that account was down 25%...it's a new feeling when it's down 40%. Forty percent. Almost half, perhaps soon to be half, of my sacrifice disappears. I've worked in gummint for over 14 years, and 7 years of 15% of my salary has gone poof. I know it's not permanent, I know it's better to have something to lose, I know I have 16 or more years of having it rise again with compound interest...but it's incredible to see such a large amount disappear. So on the one hand I'm greatful; on the other hand I'm a little scared.
No conclusion.
http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive/2222
Wow. I've been mentally composing a post about how grateful I am for:
* The fact that while I stumbled through my education with no real direction, I did put energy into it misdirected or poorly directed or no - and that education has served me tirelessly to this day.
* Same thing with career - better to pursue *something* than to sit and wait for a specific thing. I have felt pathetic as my peers seem to have specific goals and dreams, while I only want to pay the bills and sluff off for fun. Still, I've done work and kinda-sorta pursued career, and those efforts have paid dividends. If I had a super-dooper goal perhaps I'd be higher, but I'm quite happy with the results of my half-assed efforts as compounded over time.
* The fact that I stuck with government for security while I watched others pursue and receive far more success in the private sector.
* The priority I put on happiness and me-time over financial success in isolation.
I'm torn on the subject of "success." By some measures I've achieved some success, but I don't feel proud as my identity is invested more in other places (I talk far more about how much I bench, deadlift, or squat than my grade, education, or financial standing). I know part of that is simply a product of two things: education and job success don't change often, and it's rude in some situations to talk about career and money. Still, I care far more about if I'm liked, if I'm seen as nice, if I'm seen as pretty, how I dance, and fluffy stuff above and beyond the stuff that looks good on paper.
Because I'm pretty? Because you're pretty.
However, as the destroyed economy is in the news daily, I've really become very grateful both to fate and to my own perseverance for the rewards I'm knee-deep in now. I have a job while unemployment skyrockets, and it's not a crappy low-paying job I hate but need to pay the bills. I have a home that is worth more than the balance on the mortgage, which is on a low fixed-interest rate. I have retirement accounts of reasonable size for my age. I have most of my health and insurance in case some day I don't.
Odd note - I have a boo and I'm grateful too. While you can't say googly-eyes are necessarily a product of work, if I had been whoring about, or if I had stayed in seclusion lamenting the state of the world as it related to my romantic life - I would probably not have met, recognized the value of, or been recognized as "valuable" by Janna. So while I call it some more important nontangible type of "success," and it's odd to say romance is a product of work, well...it is. Same types of issues, investing energy, not jumping at shadows, not jumping quick fixes that do long-term damage...yields a higher quality sustainable result. Of course a relationship requires work too and it won't always be fun and roses - the process continues.
So I've been mentally composing a kind of thanksgiving post in my mind - I hear every day how the world is falling apart, and I'm so happy that I'm not a laid-off high-priced douche crying because my 100k car is hard to pay for and my home is killing me; or I'm stuck in a miserable job to pay for my perceived "needs." I'm happy I'm not a blue-collar worker in Detroit, happier I'm not a small town apt dweller working 2 fast food jobs or cleaning hotel rooms. I'm happy for the comfort I have; happy that while I just replaced a heat pump I had the money to do it without fear or financing; happy I forget to check the price of dinner, bar tabs, groceries, and other items because it's not a question of whether or not I can afford these things.
That was my post, but I just got my TSP retirement account statement in the mail and while I had checked a short time ago to find that account was down 25%...it's a new feeling when it's down 40%. Forty percent. Almost half, perhaps soon to be half, of my sacrifice disappears. I've worked in gummint for over 14 years, and 7 years of 15% of my salary has gone poof. I know it's not permanent, I know it's better to have something to lose, I know I have 16 or more years of having it rise again with compound interest...but it's incredible to see such a large amount disappear. So on the one hand I'm greatful; on the other hand I'm a little scared.
No conclusion.
