May. 16th, 2017

vicarz: (Default)
The urge to fix this is going down. Politics...won't harm me unless we go to war. I'm trying to save people who are fighting those efforts. I'm weary of trying to do the right thing.

Why is the cat moving his bowls again? I should move the rug so it won't get wet again.

I quit. I can see how much good I would be able to do in a management role either in this group or in my old employee relations haunt. That's the best reason to get a promotion - because you see a good you could do, you're well suited for it, and willing. But willing is waning.

I'm deciding not to go to OGC, even if I'm just working like one of the last coal miners in PA / one of the last workers on the US car assembly line in between robots.

I've positioned myself for years to be able to make the jump to the private sector. It pays more money but has more insecurity and longer hours (or can, I hear some firms are more flexible).

No, I don't care. God forbid I ever get my housing situation finished - but I'm tired. I'm tired of living between 2 houses. I'm tired of coordinating where when every day. I'm tired of helping people. I'm tired of fixing.

I'm not even taking the time to flush out why - not right now. I'm just noting that my goals are...waning. Hell my body and eyesight are waning. No, I just want to bask in the product of my scrimping and saving, working and slaving, for the decades of my life that got me here. I'd take more sure, but I'm not willing to work for it.


vicarz: (Default)

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