Jan. 25th, 2017

vicarz: (Year of me)
Work calmed down but with greatleader putting out multiple proclamations of hate a day I'm scared to access much of my computer when at work. I spend a lot of time on fb, clicking like a variable ratio schedule, trying not to yell at my idiotlefty friends who spend all their time trying to one-up their extremism while the unified right rules us all. And then I posted that.

I'm probably going to leave this moscow-oriented feed, likely for dreamwidth like others. But ... I have changed. It hasn't been long, and I'm not convinced I'm remotely mature, but I'm not writing much anymore. My need for affirmation seems satiated, whether fed by other sources, outgrown, or whether I'm just so old and tired I don't have the strength anymore.

I'm showing signs of age - physical ones.

I'm going out tonight to KKBB where the former drummer from The Cure is doing a guest dj spot. I found out a band I never heard of is playing at R&R; turns out they do have some songs that sound a lot like joy division. Funny - they're popular today. Take that, synthpop dj who says I'm out of touch.

Politics. I wonder how far we are from martial law.

Tags: The contractor hasn't done any work since 2017. He isn't returning my calls (since he tweaked the heat what...a week point 5, 2, ago?).
Gym: I'm still not recovered from the neck / back pinch, but I'm sort of mostly back to my prior strength levels. I also don't care - I'm never going to be "large" and I've seen others blow by what it took me years to do. I'm getting more and more pain, recovering slower, and dying. I wonder if I might be better off just enjoying drinking.

Going out tonight but I just want to have a beer, here, and play diablo.

Maybe it's good I'm social on fb. I've made and lost friends there - I'm super romantic and try to be loyal, but when other people are not. I hold onto old ties when others let go. So I still have eljay as I had a lot of good experiences here.

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